Returning to work after having a baby might trigger a range of feelings. You may be concerned about losing out on milestones, as your newborn may be smiling, doing tummy time, and possibly sleeping through the night by this point. Or you might be eager to return to your work routine, with huge projects on your mind. However, when work is also your home, things can become a little complicated.
In 2021, 89% of families with children had at least one working parent, while mothers with young children are still less likely to be employed.1 According to one survey, 53% of mothers would prefer to work from home.
We consulted with professionals to learn more about working from home as a new mom and how to make the transition as seamless as possible for everyone.
How to Prepare to Return to Work
Returning to work after having a baby is a transition, whether at an office or at home. When planning to return, it’s critical to set your own expectations, arrange transition periods, and allow yourself grace.
Set expectations
“It’s an adjustment, and every change can be difficult and time-consuming,” she says, recalling her return to work. “I thought I would be capable of getting emails and other work done when I was home with my baby, but I was setting myself up for disappointment,” she said.
Accepting that she would not be able to do her work on days when she did not have support enabled her to be more present with her child and enjoy their time together. “I didn’t feel like I’should have’ done other job because I promised myself I wouldn’t. There was an immediate weight lifted.”
Ease Back Into Work Routine
Lauren Smith Brody, CEO and author of “The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Success After Baby” and co-founder of the Chamber of Mothers, believes that one of the most essential things new parents can do for themselves is to ease back into things. “An employer-supported phase-back is critical,” Brody argues. “Very few of us can go from one routine to a completely different one without some steps along the way.”
She suggests being gentle with yourself and asking your employer and loved ones to assist you. If your schedule allows it, you can schedule a “practice round” approximately a week before returning to work.
“Make plans that have you getting away from the house and baby,” Brody said. If possible, start daycare a week before your employment starts to give yourself time to arrange and mobilize, or gradually transition into childcare.
Encourage Daily Transitions
Goldman emphasizes the need of a daily transition from home to work life because working from home eliminates the need for a commute.
“Commuting allows you to transfer from one role to another. “When working from home, you have to make the transition for yourself,” she explains.
Goldman recommends taking a few minutes to breathe or stretch, tidy up the workplace, or go for a walk—all of which can be done at the end of the day. “I usually finish my work about 20 minutes before I have to return to my family to give myself time to decompress,” she explains.
Create a Physical Workspace
A stimulating atmosphere promotes both productivity and good mental health.
Brody recommends making your own home workspace that is solely dedicated to work. “When that door closes, you are sending a signal to everyone that this is precious protected time and space,” she said.
As part of your physical environment, Brody recommends creating home copies of some of the ‘perks’ of office life, such as a little fridge loaded with your favorite drinks or snacks to look forward to.
How to Set Boundaries When Working From Home
Setting boundaries can be difficult for anybody who works from home, and this is especially true for new parents.
Try a couple tactics and see what works best for you, whether it’s keeping the kids out of the house during meetings or just marking yourself busy on your calendar during peak dinner, bath, and bedtime hours.
“Of course, there will be times when you have to bend your own rules,” Brody says. “Life happens, deadlines happen, bosses happen—but having that baseline of standards lets you be deliberate.”
Close the Door, If You Can
Michelle Sharma, a Connecticut mother of an 18-month-old, began setting limits before accepting her job. She negotiated a fully remote role when she returned to her present employer, knowing she wanted to work from home to be closer to her child. “I knew having a baby was going to be a significant change in our lifestyle, and that was part of my negotiation when I rejoined this company,” she said.
Her au pair respects the physical border of her office door. “I’m able to close the door when I’m on calls,” she said. On the other hand, she has the ability to emerge when given the opportunity. “I like being able to see my child during the day,” she said.
Strategize With Other Caregivers
Janet Fitzpatrick, a mother of three from Illinois, has been entirely remote since 2017. While she is grateful for the chance to work from home, she blames the epidemic for eliminating some of the constraints she relied on, such as childcare.
That has resulted in a new world order in her household when her children are home for the summer or are ill. Fitzpatrick works in an open floor plan, but he finds ways to deal with the kids at home, such as hiring a babysitter.
She and her husband consult with each other when they need to organize meetings and the kids are present.
Don’t forget to set boundaries with yourself too.
Brody advises you to set boundaries for yourself in terms of expectations. “You can’t work around the clock and always be responsive,” she said. “Be as good to yourself as you’d hope a boss would be to you.”
Sharma says she should have done a better job of creating boundaries for herself at work, such as scheduling particular time on her calendar to breastfeed and pump. “My supply dipped when I went back to work, even though I was working from home,” she said.
Setting boundaries entails understanding when to reassess the situation and make adjustments. “Now that my son is a toddler, it’s gotten much harder to work from home,” Goldman said. “I have to go downstairs to my building’s lounge to work if he is there because if I’m home, he wants me.”
Take Stock If You Are Overwhelmed
Returning to work from home is a major change. Brody suggests declaring yourself in temporary survival mode. This could entail adopting shortcuts, avoiding an overbooked calendar, or limiting your daily duties to the necessities.
“This is not a time to overdeliver,” she says, suggesting two mantras that may aid in perspective: “No extra stuff,” and “Only one major challenge per day.” She continues, “Remember, they just went from having none of you to having you back (hooray!). For the time being, an 83% effort may suffice.
Goldman recommended that you also focus on time management. “Make a to-list, and a ‘not today’ to-do list,” she goes on to add. “Oftentimes, we have unrealistic expectations.
“And being honest and kind to yourself will help.” It could also be beneficial to assign responsibilities to others.
If you find it too difficult to negotiate this stress and overwhelm on your own, try seeking help from a therapist or counselor, or even speaking with your healthcare professional. Returning to work after parental leave may be stressful in any situation, so it’s vital to know you’re not alone.